Let’s just say it.

Breastfeeding is natural.
And so is wondering if you’ve absolutely lost the plot.

No one tells you how many thoughts can fit into a 3am feed.
Is this latch okay?
Why does that feel like tiny needles?
Is that noise coming from the baby or my soul leaving my body?

So let’s drag the quiet questions into the light. The ones people whisper. The ones you Google in incognito mode. The ones you’re almost too embarrassed to ask.

Here’s your honest, evidence-based, no-nonsense guide.

“Is it normal for breastfeeding to hurt?”

Short answer:
Some tenderness in the first few days? Common.
Toe-curling, eye-watering, counting-down-the-seconds pain? Not something you should just “push through”.

Pain is information. It often signals:

• Shallow latch

• Positioning issues

• Tongue-tie or oral restriction

• Nipple damage

• Thrush

• Engorgement

• Vasospasm

Breastfeeding should become comfortable. If it doesn’t, that’s not a personal failing — it’s a support gap.

Research consistently shows that unresolved nipple pain is one of the leading reasons parents stop breastfeeding earlier than planned (Odom et al., 2013).

You deserve comfort. Full stop.

“Is my baby feeding too often?”

Newborns feed 8–12 times in 24 hours.
Sometimes more.

Cluster feeding — especially in the evenings — is biologically normal and helps regulate milk supply (Victora et al., 2016). It does not mean you don’t have enough milk.

If your baby wants to feed again after 20 minutes, it does not mean you’re failing. It means they’re being a newborn.

Newborns do not read parenting books. They read hormones.

“My breasts feel soft. Is my milk gone?”

Ah yes. The great Soft Boob Panic. Very common at about 6 weeks once your supply has started to regulate.

After the early engorgement settles, breasts usually feel softer. That doesn’t mean supply has dropped. It means your body has shifted from hormonal control to supply-and-demand regulation (Kent et al., 2006).

Soft breasts are often efficient breasts.

Milk production is based on removal. The more milk removed, the more milk made.

Your body is not fragile. It is adaptive.

“Is it normal that my baby only feeds from one side?”

Some babies are very committed to their favourite side. Think strong opinions, small human.

Many babies are satisfied after one breast per feed, especially once supply regulates. Others take both.

If nappies are plentiful, weight gain is steady, and baby seems content, one-sided feeds can be completely fine.

Your breasts are not symmetrical factory units. They’re more like sisters — related, but not identical.

“Is it normal for my baby to fall asleep at the breast constantly?”

Yes. Also: welcome.

Newborns are wired to feed and sleep. Milk contains hormones that promote relaxation and sleepiness (Cubero et al., 2006). It’s biologically designed that way.

If baby is gaining weight well, producing adequate nappies, and feeding effectively, sleepy feeds can be part of normal newborn behaviour.

If weight gain is slow or feeds are consistently ineffective, that’s when assessment matters.

“Is it normal to feel touched out?”

Yes. A thousand times yes. (Spoiler alert: this doesn't necessarily end with breastfeeding)

Breastfeeding is physical. Continuous. Intimate.

Feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated does not mean you don’t love your baby. It means you’re human in a body that has been through pregnancy, birth, and now round-the-clock closeness.

Matrescence is real. Hormonal shifts are real. Emotional load is real.

Support isn’t indulgent. It’s protective.

“Is leaking normal? What about let-down pain?”

Leaking in the early weeks? Common.
Strong let-down that makes baby cough? Also common.
Tingling, tightening, or sudden thirst when milk lets down? Normal physiology.

Oxytocin triggers milk ejection and can cause uterine cramping in the early days too (Uvnäs-Moberg et al., 2015). Glamorous, I know.

If let-down is forceful, small positioning adjustments can help baby manage flow.

“My baby makes clicking noises. Is that normal?”

Clicking can indicate loss of suction at the breast. It may be related to latch depth, positioning, or oral restriction.

Sometimes it’s minor. Sometimes it impacts milk transfer and causes nipple pain.

It’s not something to ignore if paired with pain, slow weight gain, or persistent feeding struggles.

“Is green poo normal? What about explosive poo?”

I bet you never thought you'd think or talk about poo as much as you do.

Breastfed baby poo can be:

• Yellow

• Mustard

• Seedy

• Runny

• Occasionally green

Colour alone rarely tells the whole story. Frequent explosive stools can sometimes relate to fast flow, oversupply, or foremilk–hindmilk imbalance — but context matters.

We look at the whole baby. Always.

“Is it normal to hate breastfeeding sometimes?”

Yes.

There. I said it.

You can love your baby and still find breastfeeding hard.
You can value breastfeeding and still feel rage at 4am.
You can be committed and still crave space.

What matters is not silent endurance. It’s informed support.

The data tells us that consistent, skilled lactation support significantly improves breastfeeding duration and parental confidence (McFadden et al., 2017).

Support can change outcomes.

When to Seek Support

Please don’t wait until you’re desperate.

Reach out if you’re experiencing:

• Ongoing pain

• Cracked or bleeding nipples

• Recurrent blocked ducts or mastitis

• Concerns about weight gain

• Persistent anxiety about supply

• A baby who seems constantly unsettled at the breast

Breastfeeding is biological — but it is also a learned skill for both parent and baby.

And skills can be learned, developed and supported.

You Don’t Have to Guess

If you’re pregnant and reading this thinking,
“I don’t want to be Googling at 3am…”

That’s exactly why antenatal preparation matters.

And if you’re already in it, tired and wondering whether what you’re experiencing is normal — let’s talk properly, not in rushed hospital corridors or frantic message threads.

Book:

• An antenatal breastfeeding workshop

• A private antenatal consultation

• A postnatal lactation consult

You deserve clarity.
You deserve evidence.
You deserve care that sees the whole picture.

I’m Aoife Lennon, IBCLC, and I help parents prepare for birth, protect breastfeeding, and feel steady in the early days — not scrambling.

Book your antenatal or postnatal consult here and let’s make feeding feel informed, calm and supported from the start.

References

Cubero, J., Valero, V., Sánchez, J., Rivero, M., Parvez, H., Rodríguez, A.B. and Barriga, C. (2006) ‘The circadian rhythm of tryptophan in breast milk affects the rhythms of 6-sulfatoxymelatonin and sleep in newborn’, Neuro Endocrinology Letters, 27(1–2), pp. 28–33.

Kent, J.C., Mitoulas, L.R., Cregan, M.D., Ramsay, D.T., Doherty, D.A. and Hartmann, P.E. (2006) ‘Volume and frequency of breastfeedings and fat content of breast milk throughout the day’, Pediatrics, 117(3), pp. e387–e395.

McFadden, A., Gavine, A., Renfrew, M.J., Wade, A., Buchanan, P., Taylor, J.L., Veitch, E., Rennie, A.M., Crowther, S.A. and Neiman, S. (2017) ‘Support for healthy breastfeeding mothers with healthy term babies’, Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, Issue 2. CD001141.

Odom, E.C., Li, R., Scanlon, K.S., Perrine, C.G. and Grummer-Strawn, L. (2013) ‘Reasons for earlier than desired cessation of breastfeeding’, Pediatrics, 131(3), pp. e726–e732.

Uvnäs-Moberg, K., Ekström-Bergström, A., Berg, M., Buckley, S., Pajalic, Z., Hadjigeorgiou, E., Kotłowska, A., Lengler, L., Kielbratowska, B., Leon-Larios, F., Magistretti, C.M., Downe, S., Lindström, B. and Dencker, A. (2015) ‘Maternal plasma levels of oxytocin during breastfeeding—A systematic review’, PLOS ONE, 10(8), e0136417.

Victora, C.G., Bahl, R., Barros, A.J.D., França, G.V.A., Horton, S., Krasevec, J., Murch, S., Sankar, M.J., Walker, N. and Rollins, N.C. (2016) ‘Breastfeeding in the 21st century: epidemiology, mechanisms, and lifelong effect’, The Lancet, 387(10017), pp. 475–490.