The Mind That Softens Birth: Why Hypnobirthing Actually Works (And Why It’s Not About Being Hypnotised)

Let’s start with a confession: if I had a euro for every time someone said to a pregnant person “Ah just relax, you’ll be grand,” I’d be writing this from a villa in Santorini with a cold drink in my hand. Because here’s the thing — relaxing on command is about as easy as trying to peel an orange while wearing oven gloves.

And yet, when it comes to birth, the mind matters. Not in a fluffy, “think positive thoughts and the universe will reward you with a tidy three-hour labour” way — absolutely not. I don’t deal in fairy tales. I deal in real bodies, real hormones, real women, real births.

And hypnobirthing?
It’s simply the art of getting your mind on your side instead of letting fear run the entire show.

Reclaiming Birth Through Your Own Mind

Hypnobirthing isn’t about being hypnotised; it’s about stepping into birth like you’re the main character, not the bystander.

It shifts the whole landscape of birth:
• from fear to curiosity
• from tension to trust
• from “birth is happening to me” to “birth is happening with me”

Over and over, I see parents arrive at my workshops carrying the whole weight of the world in their shoulders — and leave standing straighter, breathing deeper, realising they’re not passengers, they’re pilots.

Birth will never be predictable. But your response to it? That can be trained, softened, strengthened.

A Dash of Science (the digestible kind)

Here’s the quick and classy version of what’s going on under the hood:

Oxytocin — the hormone that fuels labour — shows up best when you feel safe, supported, warm, unobserved, and unbothered.
If your nervous system is screaming “danger!”, your muscles tighten, your breathing quickens, and the whole beautiful hormonal dance gets tripped up like someone stepping on the hem of your dress.

Hypnobirthing techniques help quieten the alarm bells so oxytocin can rise like the queen she is.
No spells, no crystals, no chanting to the moon — just evidence-based psychological tools.

What Hypnobirthing Actually Looks Like

Let’s debunk the idea that hypnobirthing means lying on a beanbag whispering affirmations in a candlelit room while your partner sprinkles lavender water around like a well-paid spa assistant.

In reality, it looks like this:

• Breathing techniques that make your whole body loosen, like exhaling your way out of a tight jumper
• Visualisations that help your mind stay anchored rather than spiralling
• Affirmations that don’t feel cheesy — they feel like armour
• Understanding your hormones so you can work with them, not against them

And yes, your partner absolutely will attempt the breathing with you and very possibly overdo it. Every workshop has at least one who sounds like a winded accordion. It’s part of the charm.

A Birth Story That Says It All

There was a woman in one of my courses recently who arrived having experienced trauma in her first birth, who said “I genuinely don’t know if I can do this.”

By the time she birthed, she messaged me saying:
“I felt the fear showing up, but I knew what to do with it. I stayed with myself. I trusted my body. I wasn’t floating off in a dream — I was absolutely present.”

That’s hypnobirthing. It won’t erase the intensity of birth, but it can absolutely rewrite the experience.

For Every Birth, Every Body

Hypnobirthing isn’t just for serene water births under twinkly lights.
It supports:

• induced births
• births with pain relief
• long labours
• fast, wild, whiplash labours
• vaginal births
• planned caesarean births
• and every glorious variation in between

This is not about chasing the “perfect birth.”
It’s about feeling informed, supported, and powerful in whatever birth you have.

It’s feminist as hell — because it hands the microphone back to the birthing person.

Want to Learn More?

If you want to explore hypnobirthing in a way that’s grounded, funny, honest, research-based, and rooted in real support — I’m here for you.

If you're curious, message me anytime.
And if you're ready to dive deeper, you can book one of my 2 day hypnobirthing antenatal workshops where hypnobirthing techniques are woven throughout.
Birth and postpartum deserve preparation. You deserve confidence.
Let’s build both.

Get in touch to find out more — or secure your space in one of my upcoming workshops.

Sources & Further Reading

• Buckley, S. Hormonal Physiology of Childbearing (Childbirth Connection, 2015).
• NICE Guidelines: Intrapartum Care for Healthy Women and Babies.
• WHO Recommendations: Intrapartum Care for a Positive Childbirth Experience (2018).
• Burns, E. & Triandafilidis, Z. “Taking the Heat Out of Hot Births: Relaxation, Breathing and Mind-Body Tools in Labour.” Midwifery Journal.
• Royal College of Midwives: Evidence-Based Guidance on Perinatal Relaxation & Psychological Support.
• Mongan, M. HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method (latest edition).