My personal experience with tongue tie - what nearly ended my breastfeeding journeys, but instead made way for a whole new career

Tongue tie is one of those things I talk about every day now — calmly, clinically, with a plan. But I didn’t start there. In fact, I've only been a lactation consultant for a year, (but a breastfeeding counsellor for 9 years). I started on the sofa, toes curled so hard they nearly cramped, feeding a baby who never seemed finished… and wondering what on earth I was doing wrong.

My first experience — Ciarán

Ciarán’s tongue tie wasn’t picked up at birth. Not by the nurse. Not at a two week check. Or a six week one. Not by me. Not by anyone.

So I fed through it. Despite the fact that my nipples looked like they had been caught in the blender.

Every feed hurt. Not “a bit tender” — toe-curling, breath-holding pain. The kind that makes you brace before your baby even latches.

He fed constantly. He never seemed satisfied. My supply started to dip. His weight gain stalled. And still — no one had named the problem.

By the time it was finally identified at 7 weeks (by an amazing midwife who ran a parent and baby class), I was exhausted, doubting myself, and my postnatal mental health was in the shitter. It’s hard to explain how relentless it feels when feeding isn’t working but you’re told to just keep going.

Looking back now, it was textbook. But when you’re in it? It just feels like you’re failing.

The second time — Ógie

With Ógie, I knew. We didn't get to feed until he was about 18 hours old (my NICU baby), but I knew straight away: that same pain. That same latch. That same feeling of something just not being right.

This time, I didn’t wait. We had his tongue tie released the day after we got home from the hospital.

Both of my boys had posterior tongue ties — the kind that aren’t obvious to look at, but can be incredibly restrictive in how the tongue moves.

What the release actually looked like

Because I know this is the part parents worry about most. Both times, the procedure was quick — around 30 seconds. My babies were gently swaddled to keep them still and secure. The practitioner lifted the tongue and made a small release under it. There was a brief cry — more from being held still than anything else.

And then it was done. Straight back into my arms. Straight to the breast.

And for me? It was a magic bullet

I don’t use that phrase lightly. The pain improved almost immediately. Feeds became more effective. My supply never fully recovered on Ciarán, but my babies were finally able to feed the way they were meant to. The way we were both supposed to do it.

That doesn’t mean every story is identical — some families need more support around feeding afterwards — but for me, the change was clear and immediate.

What I want you to take from this

Posterior tongue ties can be hard to see. But they can have a very real impact. Painful feeds are not something you just have to push through. A baby feeding constantly but not gaining well is not something to ignore. A gut feeling that something isn’t right? That matters.

I waited the first time because I didn’t know. I acted the second time because I did.

If something feels off — don’t wait

You don’t need to have all the answers. You don’t need to be sure it’s a tongue tie, but you do deserve someone to properly assess feeding, look at function, and give you clear guidance on what’s going on. The earlier you get support, the easier it is to protect feeding, your supply, and your confidence.

If you’re experiencing pain, worried about your baby’s feeding, or just have that feeling that something isn’t quite right — book in.

Don’t sit in it. Don’t second guess it. Let’s figure it out together.

Aoife xxx